I look at your eyes lost in your phone, moving from one edge of your iPhone to the other. You read something and type. You are wearing a smartwatch. You look at it and you keep your phone upside down on the table and Damn! You look at me and I look at you. Your eyes are peculiar, I try comprehending the color of your iris, it’s not too dark, it’s not too light, they look like honey.
I am sitting opposite you and I look outside the glass windows and it’s raining. A beautiful day indeed. I see a bunch of children playing out in the rain, carefree. They have ripped pants, unwashed shirts, wet hair, no footwear, and all of the world’s happiness inside. They are joyful yet underprivileged. One of them come begging me for some money. I respond I give him something to eat.
I wonder if everyone in the world feels so deeply for these kids. I remember giving my board examinations from a very different route that would encompass all the nearby villages. I did not study instead I used to look at those sights. How to travel for 3 hours straight but look at the difficult life of slums, those young kids, and my heart used to cry seeing them going through such a life. What did they do to face the wrath of God, to be born to live this life? I always prayed, how can I make their life better, a little easier, how can I fill their lives with love, care, and money. How can I give them, what they don’t have but are in dire need of?
All the dreams of making life better on this earth were forgotten in the rat race of life and I lost one of the biggest motivations to earn so much so that I can do something better for people in this world. I once remember feeling overwhelmed, how am I be able to make money that I am able to do better for people who can’t. I used to think day and night, to get the highest paying jobs, do whatever I can to earn and do something for people like this.
After doing a lot many things, I couldn’t. I was in perplexity, I am doing no good in this world for anyone. I am sitting in the professional course conference of about 100 people, learning how to be a perfect one for the hunt of tier-one Corporations, and in the questionnaire session, I ask the professional, “How do you bring the change in this World? There is a lot that I want to do? How do I go About doing it?”
I still remember, people sitting around at me laughing, I am standing holding the microphone, asking the right questions at the wrong time but he was a very patient man. He told me, Identity who is your world, identify people whom you want to bring about the change, begin from them, and once you accomplish whatever you thought, go on doing it. It’s the small things that matter. Just start and you will become whatever you think you have to do, and one day when you will be doing it. Just remember, that this is not the end. This is not the middle of the beginning. Change is constant, when you want to give something to the world, it begins with you, change yourself, be how you wish the person helping you, should be, and then you have actually changed this world.
I listened to him and I chose my friends, my family to start bringing the changes in me, to walk one step forward, to start doing things for them, to nurture them, thinking one day if I wish to work for the betterment of the people who have no privilege, I need to learn and improve my own self. I can not help them with my blatant attitude, with my anger issues, with me being overly emotional, being a crybaby about it. I need to be balanced. I need to work on myself, there is no goodness in doing good and showing it off to the world. It is just a blessing to be able to do so, taking the leap of faith, doing good, doing something for the people who need this, who lack resources, who lack basic little things of life, who are struggling each day for food, for shelter, for their life, who are more seasoned than us, who have seen life in early hard days of their childhood, who are ruined. To give a part of you to someone without expecting anything in return, to live without the attitude of being cheated upon, being caught upon in the quandary of uncertainties.
All this started fading away until I met you. I see you warmly greeting these people, caring for them, giving them, talking to them, feeding them. I look at your eyes, trying to see the compassion for the people who are forced to live their lives somehow since they can not have a life everyone is having. How I love this kindness in your heart. When you paid off the coffee person, or when you asked the little child cleaning the tables in the middle of the night, how old is he, and my heart wrenched when he didn’t speak a word. Poor little soul.
It forces me to look at myself, into my own desires and expectations. I think about my life purpose after having met you, it is doing good for the people, to not discriminate them based on their caste, status, economic condition, or race. I want to do good in this world, I want to feed the world’s poor, teach them, love them, provide them the basic things of life from food, shelter, education, healthcare to whatever it is they can not have. I want to devote my time, energy, and resources to doing well for them.
I love how you spread goodness into this world, sending positivism into everyone’s life. How you see me beneath everything, you see my flaws and still accept them, I wish I can understand you like you read me. How you wrote me that beautiful letter, how you sent me this beautiful book, just when I think, there are no ends to this love, this limitless feeling, it expands above the horizon. Is this not love, then what is, if it does not awakens the good human being in you, if it does not make you want to make this world a better place, if it does not makes you dream a little big, to look at your goals in a convincing way, to able to love yourself, Love conquers all. It can make you do everything you think is impossible.
Thanks for coming along and teaching me that love isn’t holding the hands together, or getting high on emotions, love is spreading love into this world. Love is helping people, doing something, and never expecting anything in return. Do good and be good. Having empathy. I am so in love with you for how you feel lucky enough to be having everything that you ever want, for thinking all the weary problems of your life are small or nothing at all, when they are not so small, how you don’t like to share your grief, but happiness. How you always seem happy but deep down, there is the kindest of hearts, which has seen this perverse life, strived, and did a lot.
How you capture and grasp a lot of things about everyone, just by one look, just by their voice, just by your instinct, I wish there were more people like you, who love to do things for the people of this world. You have my heart, and I will do everything in my power to bequeath this goodness, this kindness, this love like an outcast to heal the world, to help the people with everything possible, to remove that scar that this universe has bestowed upon them.
I want to say a lot, but my words fall short of everything that I feel these days, they can’t do justice to you or how beautiful you made my mind and soul, just like your love waters every inch of this eternity, I wish to grow with you. I wish to love you the way you do. I wish to love every soul, touch every life just like you touched mine, love is beyond you and me, it’s beautiful and it’s divine. Until the next time, I love you so much. Happy fifth my love.