Hold My Hand

I see you standing holding your phone, waiting for me, your eyes searching for me in the crowd. I look at you, your sky blue shirt, you look impressive. I walk towards you, seeing me coming, you put down your phone, and your hands come around me to hug. You smell amazing, that precious scent, I am intoxicated, you open your car door and I sit. I look at your gorgeous brown eyes, at the sight of yours and you take my breath away.

I am trying to breathe, I have finally met you today. I wish to wake up each day and see you, and of all the days, that I can’t see you, today is one of those beautiful ones, when I have you in mine. I have been thinking about you since last night since I woke up this morning. It’s getting harder to stay away from you.

I look at you and though there is nothing over your hair or your face, I just blame your furry friend for leaving his imprints all over your car and I touch your face, your hair, to remove nothing at all from their. My eyes travel from your beautiful face to your lemonade shirt. You look awesome today, is it the shirt, or is it me, or are you just so delightful.

I look at you smiling a little, your smile, pierces my heart, and when you laugh a little, with those squishy cheeks, widening your lips, belittling your gorgeous eyes, making me awestruck, and I want to kiss you on the corner of your mouth. I just make a dubious joke on your shirt, and you cackle up a bit, and I fall in love with you yet again.

You are so affectionate, and your voice reeks of kindness, and your gentle tones are the music of my heartbeats. They dance in your admiration, is it you, your love. Where is this love song coming from that has no music, no beats, no lyrics, it has just you and me? I listen to your eyes moving, your breath, your eyelashes reflecting the sun rays back, drooping and closing for a millisecond, your hands, moving on the steering, your face towards the roads bright, your lips moving to the song playing, I look at you lost and you look at me, with your song, vibing with my racing heart.

We come to a sensual place, where I always wanted to be with you. I enter and I remember, how on that glorious day years ago, I wanted to be with you, hold your hands and be with you, and how much I missed you even before knowing you, and now you are here with me, I am lost thinking about the past and, I see you coming towards me, we go inside and I couldn’t be any happier. You never deny a single thing I say, you always agree, I wonder if you ever said no to any of my words, requests, or just even an accidental thing I wanted to do.

I am having my coffee beside you, thinking about all the coffees I had with you, the first time I saw you coffee, the free coffee, the longest I saw you coffee. I am getting addicted to you just like you are towards your soft drinks, I giggle to myself and I am enjoying your company. We take snaps and I place my hand over your shoulders, feeling your warmth. I want to hold you close but instead, we break into the riot of laughter.

I walk out to enjoy the serenity of this luxurious greenery place, to make memories for the coming years, and the way you hold me, close to you. I wish to be in your embrace, soaking it all in, to finally be able to touch you and feel your touch on mine. I tremble, at the insignificant slight brushing of your fingers over my shoulder, over my body. Its magic, like current rush flowing through, making me feel, out of breath, you look at me and I am unable to look into your eyes, or at you, this love bubble rush, this emotion is difficult to contain, it’s all over the place, over my face. I try to behave ordinarily, but can’t. It shouldn’t affect or mean that much, but somehow it does, I feel every inch of your touch in my entire existence, deep inside my soul.

I can’t stop thinking about your wonderful, honest, heartfelt words on the piece of paper you wrote for me, I wonder who would do that, the way you love me, the way you try to know me, I would have never asked someone better than you. You are my dream come true and no matter how much I have told you this, I want to tell you again, that you mean the world to me.

We are on the roads unknown, exploring the places together, in the car I first saw you, sitting beside you like it was a tiny film of our life, to be everywhere in this little blue heavenly dezire, knowing you, loving you, from all the little things that we did, in every weather, rains, fog, summers, to every place, mountains, plains, vast stretches of the lands, to the highways and to the roads slender, from the morning sunrise, to the scorching noons, to the jaw-dropping sunsets and starry nights. I had it all in this limited time with you. What more do I wish from this universe?

and just when I think, I cannot have any more than that, the universe gifts me more and you take me on wonderful experiences to treasure for a lifetime.

We reach the peculiar place on a full moon night, listening to the historical story about the area which makes me curious, is this story real, or just a facade? The folktale here goes says that the flute lord dances with his divine divas at night enchanting the lovely hymn song of devotees transformed in the form of basil leaves and whosoever saw this, have never been able to speak, we investigate the place in awe of the popular sayings and I wish to dance with you like that, intertwined, just as these branches are merging with each other. You ask me a question, whether I want to be your lover or the better? I wish to be both, and I will be both, unlike the divine, who chose two souls, I only have my light in you, and will always have in you.

We make our way outwards, eating and enjoying the evening. We are still clueless about what to visit next and we are about to exit, and looks like the flute prince is playing games on us as we are pulled back into the city. As we move into the city again, we see the divine symbol OM into the clouds, so magnificently formed, with hues of sunset spread across the skies infused with the scattered rainy clouds.

We go onto exploring another religious spot nearby. It’s an overcrowded place on the occasion of full moon night today. We are outside, deciding whether to go in or out, and you nod your head, to not go, but we do, and you agree to me, again, never denying anything that I have to say.

We move towards the crowd not knowing what this night holds for us, and what started as the casual adventure and exploration, turned into a lifelong memory of the first time holding hands with you. That moment, your hands in mine, that much-awaited moment, of giving myself to you, submitting, by just a mere touch of our hands together, in that crowd, that unsaid promise, of not leaving you, of being with you, in every adversity, in every situation that tears us apart, that breaks us, that force, that push, that extreme, that chaos whether to leave your hands or to keep holding them, but you didn’t let go, neither did I until we reached the holy shrine.

And upon reaching the only wish I had was to have your hands in mine, just like a few moments ago, no matter the situations, how grim, or how miserable. I wish to always be with you, in love with you, no matter how much this world tells us otherwise, no matter what happens, whatever the circumstances, to give me enough strength to be your lover and your better, to never let go of your hand, of your stance in any moment.

I walk out happy and I tell you so, how much I have enjoyed this day with you, you walk wearing your shoes and socks in a funny fashion making me laugh, a bit scarred, from the pitfall on the way, I wish you are not hurt. I remember our going back into the crowd again, holding my hand the same way, me resting my head over your heart, listening to your heartbeats, eating a little piece of sweet, you gave me.

I love how considerate you were, how could I have not fallen in love with you, with your caring about every little thing, we eat and we repeat and until we are done, we walk out the lanes, and I see a bright full moon greeting the sky in the darkness of the night. I remember having promised each other on a full moon night and holding you close on this full moon, and months later to be yours forever on another beautiful full moon.

I enjoy your cheerful nature on the ride back the next evening and I already am missing you so darn much. You hold my hand yet again riding back in the car, and it feels like you are giving me strength, and your touch lingers on for days, feeling as if you are here with me, with your hands in mine, never letting it go and whenever I try to leave, just hold my hand, and I would always come back to you. Goodbyes are the hardest. I feel sad about seeing you go.

Until there are no more goodbyes and I hold your hand forever to call you mine. I miss you so much. I love you so much.

Author: Onesha

She is the funny one! Has flair for drama, loves to write when happy! You might hate her first story, but maybe you’ll like the next. She is the master of words, but believes actions speak louder than words. 1sha Rastogi, founder of 1shablog.com.

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