I miss the tuition today. I wonder if you notice me at all.

I go to the tuition the next day and find you sitting with your friend, as usual the middle row, talking and giggling with them. I come and sit ahead of you, rotating my pen with the hand. Waiting for Nitish Sir to start teaching us new maths chapter.

You say nothing. I feel a little disappointed. We both are from different schools, and the only time I can see you is these maths classes in the evening, 1 hour of watching you. I was good at maths, but you sucked at it and would always borrow my notebooks, books and would ask me the problems. I would explain but instead of understanding them, you would mug it all up.

I would laugh at you, but never made fun of you. I really liked you, I don’t know why? You looked like fun!

You were my neighbor, new neighbor who shifted here a year back. We met at the locality house birthday parties, where I saw you eating cheeseburgers and noodles. Eating cake like a pig. You were foodie and also we belonged to the same class.

You were the regular topper, all cramming, the bookworm nerd but a very funny one. I was the intelligent one, who never scored! I was a cricket person and you drove the bicycle around the park, in front of my house.

One day I enter the maths classes and find your friend sitting alone, I keep waiting for you to come any moment, but you instead skip the tuition that day. I left hurriedly from the evening of you gazing time and I pick up my bicycle from home, to roam about the park boundaries, to know where are you, what are you doing, why didn’t you come.

I cross your house and your sister waves at me, playing with your little black dog. I wave back and stop in front of the wet floors, your mother is washing the verandah, with her tight saree wrapped around the waist and pulled together.

I ask your sister the name of the dog. Sammy! she says

Then I ask where have you been, you didn’t join. That day, that day has been marked as the most important day in my life. It was your birthday. I tattooed it forever. 1st of July.

I ask your sister to call you from inside, so that I can wish you for the very first time. But I am afraid, since you are my crush. I wait and play with your dog, your sister returns but you didn’t I keep making turns around the park boundary, dressed in the blue t shirt and cream pants.

You don’t show up. Tired I get back home and wait for us to meet next.

We meet but I hardly talk to you, I observe you and your friend alone, thinking about how to talk about something other than the maths book, maths problems and anything else.

So I drop at your home after dinner a few days later. I borrow your maths book to do some problems, so that I can score as well as you did. You aren’t home and its your sister and mother again. They ask me to stay. I stay, I look at your untidy room, all smothered books, may be all toppers are like that.

After a few minutes of waiting your sister finds me your Maths book and she gives it to me. I look at the book, disappointed again, not been able to find you and talk to you, I carry the book along and on my way back, I find you returning towards your home. I stop you and tell you that I am taking your book for the weekend. You smile and both of us leave.

Your book reeks of you. I really want us to be friends, so I return your book with a small thank you note in the cover of your book. Hoping to start things between us. I never knew whether you got my note or not? But we didn’t become any good friends.

Exams came and as usual you were the topper and I the average kid. I went back to Nitish sir maths classes for the second term and I didn’t find you or your friend there.

Two days passed, three more days and I began to feel, how much long break is this? I out of curiosity ask Nitish sir, only to know that you changed your tuition from this term onwards. Felt like a little heartbreak. No more books sharing, no more 1 hour of you gazing, no more hoping to start friendship between us, no wishing you birthday the next year. No more nothing.

I come back home sad and lonely as my eyes shed a tear and I look at the sunset alone, feeling betrayed. Feeling lost ever since you left.

Author: Onesha

She is the funny one! Has flair for drama, loves to write when happy! You might hate her first story, but maybe you’ll like the next. She is the master of words, but believes actions speak louder than words. 1sha Rastogi, founder of 1shablog.com.

1 thought on “July

  1. That was such a poignant write. The reality in it was fantastic and absolutely endearing. Had me captivated and a part of me felt sad, and that’s the capability you have, to make me feel things with your words.

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