I wake up to the beautiful rainy morning and pull the curtains, the morning sky greets me. It’s 7am and I am barely awake, I open my door and walk out on the porch, the cool windy breeze makes me shiver. I am rubbing my eyes and I walk up to the balcony, covered with the high-rise trees and pink hibiscus with the fresh morning dew. I am looking at a giant cactus alongside them and it’s flowery, blooming like dragon fruit. My eyes move to the surrounding views of the trees covered with the strangely shaped berries, a lot of them, when did these grow here?
I am looking at the windows nearby, and I see a bunch of people, sitting out on their balcony, having a conversation over a cup of tea. They look pleasant and happy. My eyes move towards the right and I see a human, holding another human closely in the arms, both sitting with each other, with their back resting on the balcony wall pillar.
I can’t see clearly and any further. I look at the lush greenery realizing I forgot my glasses. I walk back inside, searching for them thinking about you. You say I look confident in glasses, I don’t know whether you like it or it’s just another way of you impressing me. I smile putting them on. Is that what love does, making you smile for no reason all the time?
I walk out and I find you looking at me standing on the porch. I gasp a little, what are you doing here? I make small talk with you, trying to hide just woke up, tired face, with glasses on and that cheesy smile. You ask me to meet you outside. I am excited.
You take me along for breakfast, I don’t notice but you let me have your favorite last piece of food. I eat thinking, you should have been eating this, instead you let me have it. Did you notice me picking it up and eating? Or maybe I am just overthinking as usual.
We make our way out in the rains, and to the beautiful scenic stretches full of light blue sky, feathery white clouds, with you nodding your sweet face to everything. No matter how childish or ruthless I am to you, you keep your calm, and every little action of you, every little gesture is gentle. I am far from you yet with you, just like the riverside, which doesn’t meet but flow together, remains together.
I feel like that, I also like you, just as you like me, but I think I like you more or maybe that’s how it is, you don’t like to show, but then I think, when anything exists, it automatically shows, you don’t have to put on efforts to show something that isn’t there, it is evident. Maybe you don’t love me and everything is in my head. Why can’t I see the love in your eyes, you say you do, your actions say you do, why do I not see it then, what is wrong, I am looking at you and thinking about all this, your lovely face and I wonder, how will I know, how will my heart know. Why can’t I feel your love? Do you feel mine, how do people feel the love?
I have fallen in love with you, every time I look at you I fall more than the day before, your eyes, I feel the love on the edge and then, I see a sensible person, away from this love enthusiasm. Why can’t my mind shut up and enjoy you?
We walk up the little hill on the way, I want to hold your hand, but I refrain, what if you don’t like it. I walk with you, talking to you, laughing with you, looking around at the clouds coming at us, I can feel the clouds, every bit of them, I open my mouth and I am eating them. I am on cloud 9 with you. I feel overwhelmed. I look around and I see a little flowery wall. Oh, what a perfect backdrop for Instagram.
I get clicked with you and you put your hand over my shoulders, what an electric thunderbolt. I am ecstatic. I am feeling your touch, I look at you, at your hand around me. It’s warm and though it means nothing, I am having a little love attack. Wow! What a beautiful feeling, I smile, and I laugh. How this is having a magical effect on me. I feel a bit shy and I walk trekking up that small hill, having small flower arch bows on the way, the little curvy pathways, steep and mesmerizing landscapes.
I look at you every second, trying to steal a little moment of us. I look around the beautiful flower garden on the hill footsteps. I pluck a tiny purple flower and I walk behind you. I look at the gorgeous flower thinking, Shall I give it to you or not? Is it too small, and then you turn around looking at me.
“This is for you,” I look at the flower, feeling shy and unable to look at you.
You take it with a bit of a surprise, or not, you walk a little forward, and you find your wallet. I am astonished at your kind gesture.
“I just plucked it and gave it to you anyway,” I say trying not to sound desperate and in love with you, and you don’t have to keep it, I was just having fun!
You keep it safely, that small tiny thing, showing me the first declaration of love I did months ago. I feel a little embarrassed. You love me so much and I was overthinking about you loving me, how wrong of me, why did I think so?
We cross a waterfall on the way back, it’s gorgeous and I see you live, removing your clothes, swimming inside, yet not leaving another moment to impress me. You swim like a pro. You come near me, having taken your dip in the waters, your bare soaked body. I don’t look at you. You put on your clothes and we cross over the waterfall, full of the big round stones. You hold my hand and you help me. I look at you, spilling a little water over you.
My eyes are lit up and we walk, you also love me, you have fun, you enjoy, you smile and I look at you lovestruck. We walk back and I notice you looking at me from the corner of my eyes. I can’t meet your eyes, thinking about the tiny flower, and I smile about the small insignificant letter. I wish I had roses for you not one but a lot of them. I beam remembering the first flowers you bought for me, they were purple dahlias. So beautiful, so many.