We have been texting for months and I am scared to call you or get a call from you. I just like our WhatsApp conversation every day, and night. Your texts make me curious and I really love talking to you. I find you interesting but you have not yet awakened the habit of me hooked to you. So sometimes I text and get busy in whatever I am doing until you reply, and at all the other times before, the guys got me hooked and I would eagerly wait for their texts.
One fine day I am sitting in my room, an expensive apartment I rented on the topmost floor, to just view the stars. I loved the chilly windy breeze with the stars at night. I opened the balcony door, sat on my bed, switched off all the lights of my room, and was gazing at the pretty sky illuminated with the little diamonds of the universe. I am enjoying my view and an airplane passes by. I look at the airplane and my eyes do not leave the sight of it. My room is tranquil and the winds are making no noise. I wait to hear the sound of the airplane and to my surprise, it doesn’t make any. It just blinks its lights and passes by making me question, where is the airplane sound? Why do we not hear it at night?
I am thinking about it and suddenly My phone rings. I look at the phone and it’s a call from you. I get anxious. Why are you calling me? I am astounded. I take a deep breath and I answer. I am breathing low waiting to hear, how is your voice? There is silence. Oh! So you are waiting for me to speak the first word. I clear my throat and say
“Hello!” in the absolutely nicest voice, tone, pitch or whatever.
“Hi” I listen to your Hi and it sounds lovely. You have a beautiful voice. “Hope I haven’t disturbed you.” I hear more words in that gorgeous voice of yours.
“Umm, no! I just had my dinner. So what’s up?” I speak trying to match the lovely voice I am hearing from that side of the phone. Your pictures look lovely, but it wasn’t until I heard you talking.
“I am returning from a party. I have had some drinks tonight.” You speak and though you say this, your voice is sober. I am concerned and so I question you back.
“Drinks! Are you Driving right now?” I am thinking about the car that your Dad gave you recently. It’s the one I would drive after I earn half of what you make a year.
“No, no I am the cab right now, headed home. It’s a long way back and I .. and I also wanted to talk to you… listen to your voice.” You say getting a little courage from your party drinks. I am a little enthused by your words. I giggle and laugh a little. I can see you smiling through the phone, though I can’t see you.
“What was the party for?” I ask you since it’s been long since you had a drink. Feels like I know a lot about you and we have been talking for about half a year now. Why didn’t we talk over the phone, I was wondering. I wasn’t ready I thought. Or I was just too comfortable texting or I just simply don’t like talking to people much. I wonder if it’s the same with you?
“Ahh! It was an office colleague, turned friend who is going to the US this month. We had dinner and a few beers.” You tell me and I feel a little sad for you, I knew how badly you wanted to go to the US and it’s your friend and not you.
“So How was your day?” You talk like we converse over text, and I instantly reimagine the tone of you speaking in the chats I re-read, whenever I miss you.
We start talking and moments later I am smiling and laughing. I love talking to you until you reach back home and pay off the driver. As soon as I hear the car door closing I feel a little sad. You already disconnecting the call, please don’t go, I want to talk. But I can’t say it to you. It’s been an hour on the phone and I don’t even feel like it. I am just hoping you won’t say goodbye. It’s already the middle of the night and I can make out you loosening up your tie, moving your hands through your hair. I am imagining you while you talk about a lot of things.
You ask me for a little water break and you gulp down a mouthful of water. I enable the recording on my phone so that I can hear your voice later, cause what I am gonna read today? “So are you a tea person or coffee,” you ask me and I am glad, so you didn’t disconnect the phone. I am a tea person and I ask you the question back. You love tea as well.
And we talk for another hour, me gazing at the starry view and you roaming about in the streets of your home, near your dad gifted parked car. I ask you “What are you doing right now?”
“I am standing below my house. Talking to you.” Your voice has changed. Is it your comfortable voice, or the beer just started fading away? What is it? I am afraid I may not fall in love with you. I have had so much to say and I never said anything until you called and we talked. I have started to like you more than before. Our call finally comes to an end.
I put away the phone with a heavy heart and I now am eager to meet you. I wonder if you also want to meet me too. I look at the stars a little sad. I look at my phone waiting is there any text from you? Shall I text you, I still miss you. I wanted to talk a little more.
I type a message and I erase it. I type again thinking of something funny. I am just about to send, no no no, I am not going to. You will find me clingy. Let’s wait for a little. Let you reach back home. You’ll definitely text me something.
I wait for a few minutes, trying to find something relevant to send to you, how to break the ice here. I wait for another hour. There is no sign of you. I am unable to sleep that night waiting for your message. I listen to the recorded audio of us talking. I sound weird but your voice is pleasant.
The next morning, I find my phone, did you send me something. There is no sign of you. I text you and you don’t reply. I send another text, no response. I call you later that evening and you don’t pick up. I am worried about you. Are you okay? Are you doing alright?
I open my WhatsApp and my text has been seen, you are online. I take a sigh of relief. You are okay. I text you the usual evening greeting. The message goes unseen. I did not hear from you for days. I waited patiently for your response. Maybe you are busy or maybe something went wrong. A month pass by and I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I keep reading our old conversation. I keep looking at your pictures.
We never talked to each other after that night and I never asked you why?
1 thought on “Neglect”
That hit me harder than I thought it would, your words are so magical and your characters so real, a wonderful but poignant piece (: