Your hand is closed in a fist and I am annoyed, I make a shrewd face and look at you. “What?”
He looks at me in disbelief “Aren’t you missing something?”
I look around my desk and I say “No, I have everything I need.”
You open your fist and I see my home keys there. Oh! I immediately take my keys embarrassed yet again. So while we collided, it must have fallen from the tiny pocket in my dress, thanks to the designers who think women’s attire pockets are just useless. I look at you and see you smirking at me. You haughtily say “You are welcome” and you leave my desk, walking in that proud manner, making me feel more annoyed, embarrassed and God knows what.
We gather in our dance sessions, the songs mashup mixtape is enhanced daily, beats are mixed, songs are trimmed, the tempo is increased, lowered down and I am just clueless about what’s going on with the laptop software. Abhinav opens up his car deck and we play the mashup to practice the steps, which are improved, steps are thought, prepared and I am a bit tardy to pick up. We all see Siddhant and Sejal dancing the whole sequence in front of us and we imitate or try to follow, not as smooth as them, we are slowly picking up the dance moves.
I try not to look at you but can’t help it. You dance with Himani, so well, your arms around her, your eyes into hers, she giggles and laughs, she really enjoys your company. I look at all your steps and you nail every single one of them, while we practice and take our breaks, I see everyone circles around you and you engage everyone with your lame jokes, I just stay apart, very far from you, observing you, your little acts, your smile, your laughter, your moves, you being in the spotlight.
Why do I feel this immense desire towards you, I like the way you move your keys over your finger while you talk and play with your phone when you suggest a dance move over the songlines. Your hand up in the air, your facial expressions, I am falling for you, every single moment.
We practice together all of us and I forget steps along with two more members, so You and Sejal perform it, I am envious, she moves smoothly with you in all the moves. I am just trying to coordinate with Abhinav, who well is trying hard to get along, with You distracting me with your existence. I focus on the dancing, I don’t look at you, stealing away the glimpses, you catch me twice and I lose my trail.
We laugh together, we fall, we get scolded, we perform, the actions, the legs, our feet, everything dances to the rhythm, we are in sync, after hours and hours of practice. We are working hard.
I dance along and each day, every passing practice hour has made me fall in love with you. I am feeling jealous, I am feeling nervous, I am drinking more coffees and I am dancing, I wait for you to come, to dance, to your seat, I look at you while you have your lunch, while you grab your tea, while you laugh with your office friends. I can’t help it.
The dance competition is just a week away, we rent our dresses for the competition and I am getting the breakup like phobia. I won’t be able to look at you, spend moments with you. These little fun-filled dance move moments.
It has been three weeks and you become my daily chore, I have explored you on every social media account, I have seen a lot of your pictures, I know your regular time and exit time. I know your scheduled meetings of the day, I see when you drive a bike to the office, when not, the people you walk around with, the phone calls you to take in the office. I am obsessed with you so much. I am lying in bed thinking about you, unable to sleep. Your face, you smile your lovely eyes, How I cannot make eye contact with you. How I want to look at you, your gorgeous face but can’t. How you annoy me, but my heart melts at every sight of you, how my heart skips a beat every time I see you, How I notice the color of shirt you wear, how I am in love with the little gestures of your hand, your yawn after the dance, your sleepy face in the early morning sessions. I am in love with every bit of you, I don’t know how? I don’t know why?
I am sad, how will I be able to express this ever? Would you like me? Do you like me? I am walking towards the office an hour before practice and I see 5 of you in the parking lot. Himani isn’t here, I look at you waving at me, I for the first time smile at you. We start our dance practice and we do not wait for other people, they can join as we dance. So for a moment, I am paired with YOU. You and I dance. I look into your eyes, You hold my arms and our feet begin to dance on the songs, I dance effortlessly, I can’t breathe, I for the very first time am in your embrace. Feeling you breathe. I gulp down the air from my mouth and I look at your lips. Are you also feeling this sudden rush of evident feelings of mine? My heartbeats rush, from the dancing, from the music, from YOU, your touch, Your fingers touching mine, our hands clasped, you pull me close and I just want to keep dancing along. I am lost in you.
The music stops and we disperse. I am feeling this intense rush of love for you, this uncontrollable desire, to tell you that I love you. I gather all the courage and I look at you with all the love I have for you in my heart and I walk towards you.
I look at you and I open up my mouth. You are looking at me. Your eyes not leaving mine.
TO BE CONTINUED