I am back and with a bag full of memories. I have enjoyed these summers with you. It’s a different kind of a feeling to be in love. You feel happy, you feel connected, you think about that special someone. You always feel excited, you feel like the world around you is happy.
I had a lot to think about, a lot of your expressions, a lot of new things to do, to tell everyone. I am still living in the past month gone by, mentally I am still there with you and physically I am here still lost in the world where there are you and me.
I wonder whether you miss me or not, do you get my letters or not? Shall I write to you? All the time you were with me and you did not mention to me about the letters. I did not see any in your room, I must be writing to you and those words never reached you.
Maybe you did not get any so you never mentioned them, how do I find out? How do I keep writing you letters, without expecting a single response back? How do I keep in touch with you? How do I talk to you? How do I tell you the daily details of my chores, with the same excitement as you met me? How do I stop you from going to Mumbai? How can I keep visiting you every summer? How do I keep you forever? How do I make it possible for you and me to spend every moment together? How do I know you are also in the same zone as me?
and the thoughts continue… with the blank paper and pen, thinking about writing and not writing, thinking about changing the course of the destiny, thinking about the future to unfold in front of my eyes, future having you.
These summers have been the best summers of my life. I am already missing the vacation. School is boring and monotonous. I would really want some people like you around, full of life here. Children in my class study always. I have inquired about the piano classes here, but they teach guitar. I bought my first guitar today. The string makes some lovely notes. I have been learning to tune the guitar. I have had two guitar sessions. I will be learning chords now. We can be a band together and go on a live music tour performing and singing. I really love the strumming of the strings and its tune is heaven for my ears.
I won the consolation prize today for the most beautiful handwriting here. I thought my handwriting is normal, but guess what, it’s an award-winning saga.
I have your red and black shell. It reminds me of you. It has picked up your fragrance and every time I smell it, I feel you near me. I keep it as the symbol of our friendship. I hope to see you super soon. I wonder if you get my letters. Please reply to this one. Good luck for this school year and for Mumbai. I hope you make it to Xaviers. Waiting for your letter.
H-25, ShastriNagar, Meerut
I post the letter to you and did not hear back until 4 months 5 months and I am still wondering, do you get them and chose not to reply or you didn’t get them at all?
There was no way to know. I engage myself in the activities here and I start to forget about you. I learn guitar and it gives me immense pleasure. I learn songs and each time I play, I remember how indulged you were the whole time playing the piano. I feel the same passion and I feel that I belong. Time flies and I have stopped thinking about you. Seasons change and I pass on the next year with flying colors and summers are fast approaching.
As usual, the summer break happens and this time I do not want to go, thinking about how I won’t find you there and there is nothing for me to do.
I decide to tell Mumma the next morning about not going to granny’s home and would rather learn guitar here. I go to school and I think about you. I am thinking too much about you and I wish to feel as I felt earlier, the same rush to go, to be thrilled, to meet you. I wonder did you make it to Xaviers? Are you still there or did you move to Mumbai? I want to talk to you and there is no means of communication. I feel helpless. I feel heartbroken.
I come back home and I lay down in bed looking at the shell. I am taken back in time and all I can see is your face, your priceless expression, your live, love and laugh motto of life. Your joyous face, your football kicks, you singing along the music, humming to the tunes.
I am lying down and I hear the doorbell. I go towards the house door and I see a Postman. I take all the letters of Dad and I keep them on the table. I go back to my room and as soon as I lie down, I am awakened.
I rush back to the letter bunch and I shuffle the letters.
I look at the letter astonished. I tear open the letter.
Hi, I never wrote a letter before. This is my first. Well, we all have our first, so this is with you. How are you?
I am good. I am not going to Mumbai. I hope to see you soon here, it’s almost summer. I don’t know if this letter reaches you in time. I do get your letters.
Thanks for writing. I look forward to each one of them.
Waiting for you.
I hug the letter and I cry my heart out, I don’t know I am happy or sad, and kiss the letter written in your beautiful handwriting, teary-eyed. I can’t wait to board the next train and come get you. I am mind-numbingly happy. I laugh and I cry at the same moment, my heartbeats are rushing at the extreme. I am hopeful more than ever and I begin packing for the vacations to come to see you.
I didn’t know how I felt, I cannot explain how I felt. It was the most beautiful moment of my life, receiving your letter like I could breathe like I could be anyone I want. Like a wish coming true. Like a dream. I was dumbfounded. I danced. I jumped in joy. I am spreading my cheeky grin all around the house. I am high again. I am in love with you Vatsal. I still don’t know and I am so indescribable. It was a wonderful moment.
One more month to go and I can be with you and I’ll be something more. I will treasure you for the rest of my life. I am so glad you acknowledged. I write to you. I write for you and your letter is just what I needed to keep going.
I love you so much. I wish I knew it then.